Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Thoughts

I haven't told you yet how the open door day at the fashion academy was. It was great to see everything there! I saw some great creations too!
Though I am a bit concerned about a few things. The fashion academy is one of the best of the world. This means: very difficult entrance exam. It's also a quite experimental school. So I hope they'll appreciate what I do.
I also talked with the headmaster (google to know which famous designer it is!). But i'm a bit concerned about one thing he said. That he will get the gothic out of me. On the one hand, I understand I shouldn't limit myself to typical gothic and already done shit. You have to be original and unique. And that is also what I want to be! But on the other hand, I'm afraid that a school wants to completely change me again. I just don't want that!
As a doubter, I'm also afraid that I am not creative enough. Sometimes I feel so weird, but sometimes I also feel to normal.
Another thing I'm really concerned about is my lack of dicipline. Not that it is really that bad, but sometimes I'm so lazy! (Though I know a lot of people that are worse then me. I just can't say if I'm too lazy or not). I am also always afraid to start something. I really should get rid of the doubter in me. It always keeps questioning everything I do or want to do, it always wat to get me down.

Anyway, I signed in for the entrance exams, so I give it a try! I hope I succeed and I can start making my dream true.
And it is already great that I dared to sign up! Really, normally I would keep on doubting. But what do i have to loose? Yeah, 20 euros + some more on train tickets.. But if I don't try, won't I regret it forever?
I hope I'm good enough to make it some day.
At the moment, with my jewelry, I don't feel like a much original designer (Thank you self-esteem).

Some furter information: I also had troubles with convincing my parents, especially my mother. But I think she juts want the best and the most safe for me.

Today I worked on some school assignments. Finally I did something.. that's what I mean with my lack of dicipline. I just don't work when I don't have deadline. So maybe it's good there are a lot of deadlines in fashion school.

I also finished yesterday two pair of earrings. there are more fimo earrings laying around here to finish :)

Jewelry bussiness isn't going that well.. Which reflects in that I make less
I just want to make something of my life, do what I want, be proud of myself, and create beautiful things.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Shoe modification

I have redesigned an old pair of black shoes. I added gold and painted roses on the heels. I think they came out lovely. Sadly enough, most of the painting is hidden because the heel goes inside. They aren't the most comfortable shoes either, but it was a nice tryout! I think I'm going to buy ever a pair of decent wedges to paint on! Or maybe to glue things on! *creating mood*



I'm also going today visiting the fashion academy in antwerp. I'm a bit nervous actually (even though there are no reasons for it). I hope it will be my thing and I'll be sure about what I want!
Have a nice day!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Lace top

Today some laces patches arrived! They are big and nice, but very smelly. Some are also not pitchblack :( I sewed already a lace on an old (too deep cut out) top. I think it looks nice with the lace and the stripes! Maybe I'm even going to do more with it so it can become one of my favorite summer tops!
Excuse for the not so great pictures :P

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Designs

I thought, why shouldn't I show you some some of my fashion sketches? Most of the sketches bellow are inspired on hunting.

I also started working on some kind of shrug, like I said before. Here is a work in progress picture aswell. Now I have to overlock it and then put a ribon on the edges. Then I'm going to add beads and chains to the shoulder ;-)


Chaotic

I am litteraly doing everything at the same time..

I wanted to start this morning sewing a blouse. I started overlocking everything until my thread broke.. too bad I don't know how to put the thread in it again.. Now I'll have to wait until mom comes home :(
Next thing on the to do list today was starting a big drawing. I started with it but then I thought about my essay so I started again working on my essay.. I don't know where to start first..

And then I read a mail about that we had lessons today at school.. Shit!
I feel a bit hectic today! I'm putting my food in my mouth in only a minute.. like I don't want to loose time.. which I do in the end because I sit on the computer..
Oh well, I'm going to work further while listening/singing Emilie Autumn songs.

This evening I have lessons again :( such a waist of time!
I also have to make an earring for tomorrow (someone lost one of her earrings so she needs a replacement).
I feel also a bit better again. I really want to go to fashion school! I'm very curious for saturday! Also, it's tomorrow open doordays at my school (Sint Lucas Ghent)!

Chaos allover!

Monday, March 18, 2013

new work

I feel like I have been so lazy last days! However I did make a commsion, some earrings, and finished some hairclips laying around (not much work anymore on it actually.. but you know, I'm lazy sometimes!)


Now I am working on some kind of schrug, but not really a shrug. I actually can't explain it. It's like the opposite of a one-sleeve-top. It's made of lace and I'm going to add chains and beads. I will probably not sell it because I think it won't fit for everyone. It's made upon my measurements (I used myself as dummy).

I wonder if you would be interested in seeing some fashion sketches of me? They aren't very well drawn, but it's the idea that counts. I think I'll have to put more time in how I draw my fashion sketches... not simple ordinary pencil sketches, but with ink and watercolor maybe. I'm going to take some time for that! I actually carry my fashion sketchbook with me whenever I'm on the train.

Now it's time for food! Hungry! And then off to Ghent!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Life of an artist part 2

Making decisions is one of the hardest things in life I think. I can't sometimes even make decisions for smaller things. But on the other hand, I am sometimes: I want it like this and not else!

I am always afraid when I make a decision that I make the wrong one. That's what happening now again with fashion school. What if it's again nothing for me? What if it will be again too arty farty? I want to do MY thing.
On the other hand I still like drawing. And today I made a little book for school and I was supprised that I let myself do something that does not fit into what I'm used to do. So I'm never sure how much I should let myself influence by others. I just want to be proud of what I make (and get recognition). And I'm alsou doubting: should I keep it for the assignment, or keep it for atelier...

That goes for fashion aswell. I like influences by other designers like dolce&gabbana, McQueen,... But I don't want to be influenced by fashion that is absolutely not my taste. Or like I would say it: something I'd not wear (no matter how weird or normal it is).
And I keep on thinking.. Will I make the right choice? Is fashion what I really want? Or is it art? Or am I in both not strong enough? I am afraid to fail.

Uncertainities, it's a big part of an artist life :)

Also something I'm doubting about.. should I get my two blogs (art and fashion) together? Because now I'm even putting personal shit in it! :P (sorry guys!)
And it would be great if my readers interacted more with me.

I also want to advertise for other designers out there! So if you are interested in that, you can leave a comment ;-)

Friday, March 15, 2013

Life of an artist

As some of you might know, I study Drawing and printing at Luca. I'm now in my last year of my bachelor. Normally I would do my master aswell, and to survive in this shitty economy, take an extra course for teaching. Though I knew teaching wouldn't ever be something for me. Though if my parents asked me what I would do in the future, I couldn't answer. I never could. I always loved drawing, and I still do. But I never really wanted to be an artist that hangs her work in a gallery. It never felt like something for me. Even the art world doesn't feel really me. But drawing is still very important for me, even though I'll never be a great artist.

I have always be a girl that loves beautiful clothing and accessories. I remember as a little girl that I played with my cousin with barbie dolls. We also dressed up a lot. He always made furniture and things for our dolls (he does now interior design), and I made together with my mum clothes for the dolls. I always dressed and undressed the dolls. And I enjoyed making things for my dolls someone else didn't have.

And as I grew up, I became a barbie doll (in a goth version). I dressed up a lot, I loved accessoires, and I sometimes made things myself.

As a child I drew a lot, and as I grew older I learned to draw realistic. And so I found my talent for drawing. I drew a lot and I wanted to go to an art school. But I wasn't allowed. I always regretted it. Though somehow I'm happy I know how to study, and I know a bit my languages and economy. I did from time to time portrait commissions (but that isn't much creative). For myself I drew quite a lot of fashion designs, but also from life/photo.

I was sure that when I finished college, I would go to an art school! Absolutely! Though fashion design was in my head too. But my mother never liked all my arty thoughts. And she absolutely hated fashion design! She has worked in the fashion industry for 20 years. She stitched everyday jackets for an irritation boss. And I do understand that she wants a better future for me. But I also know that I want to design! And the implementation now goes to china anyway.. That's why she lost that job anyway.

The last year in collega I got really nervous. I went talking to someone who was busy in arts aswell.. I remember a very important sentence: You won't succeed in a drawing school with your 'montmartre' drawings. But when I see your more fashion drawings, I think you should go to fashion academy.' I wasn't sure what to do with this. I wanted both, but I had to choose. And since drawing was my first choice, and mom hated fashion, I went to the art school. I succeeded for my entrance exam and there I was! Very unsure about what they would make of me. I was afraid that I had to change my style.

I was happy that I could do what I wanted. But I was always afraid to fail (one of my big negative points). But I succeeded! In the same year I also succeeded for my driving license. I felt proud that I got this far already. In this summer I also took up my interest in fashion. I started making jewelry for myself and some pieces for selling. Mostly chokers. I really hated my stitching machine, because I was so bad at it :P But after that summer, my boyfriend where I had a long time a relation with broke up with me. I was nervous to fail in school aswell. Everything went down. Very much down. But on the first jury, I had quite good points. Though theory results weren't the best due a second love failure. I mainly drew selfportraits. In the second part of that year I was sick of selfportraits and drew my parents in stead. I actually tried to do what teachers wanted of me to do. My style has changed quite a lot. From hyperrealistic to not so realistic but still recognizable. I didn't like school much anymore, I was afraid to fail, I doubted to whole year about everything, including art class. I thought about changing from drawing/printing to illustration. But in the end I didn't. I also had a second love fiasco, what broke me litterally apart. The only thing I kept doing was making jewelry. I got better at the techniques, but also the designs. Even at school I started talking about my jewelry to the teachers. And about abandoned buildings, because I just love them (and I love going photographing in them).

All this things kept my head going crazy, wich ended in a depression. I didn't want to recognize it (and somehow I sometimes still don't). But I know that it went from bad to worse. This year, third year, I didn't know what to do. I started doing what teachers wanted, but then I wanted to say and do what I wanted. I encoroporated abandoned buildings and my handmade jewelry in my drawings. But it still wasn't good enough. My jury this year wasn't good at all. Also last year I ended with bad results whith my lazy-parents-drawings. But this year I thought that my drawings where more me (and yes they where). I got a bit my love for drawing back, but not too much. I kept on making jewelry. And I tried to make something completely on my own in fabric too. I wanted to combine art and fashion. And I did.

But the school doubts kept going on. The depression really overwhelmed me, almost killed me.. I decided to stop school and go to work. I decided to go on and finished and then do a stupid job. I decided again to stop. I decided to go study graphic design to get a decent job. I even decided to get an extra course accounting to find a job. I decided to finish this year and then follow goldsmith in syntra. And then I doubted about fashion in syntra (but mom would hate it, you know).

And then the idea of fashion academy in antwerp went trough my head last week. I don't know why. But somehow a university sounded possible again. Nevertheless I said that I never wanted to go to an art school again, because they are too arty farty.

Anti-depressants have helped me trough the all-day-crying period. The I-want-to-die feeling dissapeared more or less. I got more coinfidence, and I wanted to find my dreams back, what I really wanted with my life. I wanted to accomplish again something.

I want to be a designer
I think

I want to become where I'm predestinated for. And I realized that I'm born for art. I am just born to become in this hard art world that knows only uncertainties. I am born for fashion. I love fashion. But I still love art too. But I don't want to fit in the art world, and somehow I don't feel like I am really creative enough for the art world, but I feel that I can be more creative in fashion designs.

Next week I am going to the open door day in the fashion academy of antwerp. I'm going to ask a lot of questions. I will check out the jewelry design department aswell. I am also thinking about my portfolio. I talk almost everyday about it. And yes, mum still doesn't like it. She says I dream too much, that I'm flying and unrealistic because I'm so enthusiastic. But I know that the art world is hard. I am already in it for a part. And I know also that selling my jewelry is hard. But I'm dreaming already the whole year of doing something besides a 'normal' job with my jewelry.

I hope the open door day will give me more clarity. I am already a bit dreaming of being there. Though I'm afraid of living alone in antwerp, without my cats. But I have to learn to live alone! I don't want to be dependent for my whole live.

And I hope that, when I decide to go there (which almost happened already) that I succeed my entrance exams!

But the fear is still in my head: what's my destiny? Art or fashion design? Or the edge of society.. (I'll fight to not get there!) But I know that I am not normal, and that I don't fit in into the ordinary working world. I'm just not made to follow the mainstream: go to work, buy a house, marry and get children, work eat and shit, grow old and make sure you have enough money to pay your rest home...
No, I want to make something of my life.
And one day, I'll make my dreams come true.. One day!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Royal pink choker



I think I made a jump forwards again! I am really proud of this piece! I promise that I will make more in this style (and other colors! more gothy or steampunk versions.), and that I'll push myself forward to make my work even BETTER!

Something else going trough my head: Fashion designing.. well you know, already for a while. I thought first to do it in Syntra, because I was afraid to go to an artschool again. And college is quite difficult you know. But looking at the website of the academy of Antwerp, my goal is still to create GREAT pieces. And I'm afraid that syntra gives not enough support for that (in antwerp you learn for example how to make hats and shoes O.o). You also learn to imitate a historical costume, and I think that is really helpfull for what I want to do. So I'm going to the opendoordays, and see if it is something for me.
I cross my fingers to find what I really want to do. Going to work isn't that much an option in times of economical depression.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Working

Something I am working on today!
It isn't finished yet, so it's going to be a bit more bold then it is already now!
I am probably going to add extra gold chains, and more pink flowers.


Things on the list of the coming week:
-finishing this necklace (today)
- starting a commission for Saskia! (It's going to be funny! sculpting doll parts!)
- and starting a commission for Sarah! (first time sewing a blouse for someone else. I hope it will work out fine!)

Saturday, March 9, 2013

New layout

I was really tired of the old layout. I think it also didn't suit that great with my jewelry, so I made a new header changed the color and the background.
I think it looks much better now.
I used the header for my facebook page aswell.
Further I haven't done much today. I'm thinking about some things I could make, but inspiration isn't that great today (blame it on the grey weather).
I'm also very thankfull to the people that buy my jewelry, and when they receive it, they tell me how much they love their new piece. That really makes me feel good! I'm glad people appreciate what I do, and ofcourse where my jewelry! Thank you so much!
And if any of my costumers would like to do a review on their blog, I would be really honored! Also, if you are interested in writing about my jewelry, you can!
Have a nice day ;-)
<3
Natascha

Friday, March 8, 2013

Fotoshoot with the belt

I did a little self photoshoot with my new belt! It's not easy to take pictures of yourself
Here are a few pictures
some of these will be used for my drawings aswell!









Love,
The Black Cat Designs

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

New work!

Haha, again new work! I feel sometimes like spamming ^^

This is a necklace I finished today. It's inspired by nature and absinth (note the fairy and the colors of the beads in the back)


I also made a victorian inspired bronze necklace with faux pearls. It looks very elegant, but simple.


I also made a ring in the same colorscheme


And I made a gothic choker aswell :)



And now I'm going to draw a bit for school :)

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Steampunk Waistbelt

Aaaaalmost finished! I have to put more beads on it. But I have to leave soon, to a hobby fair, and I really want to wear my belt. So it's nearly finished. Here are already some photos! I am sooo proud of it ^^

Saturday, March 2, 2013

WIP steampunk waistbelt

Today I worked on my steampunk waistbelt. I started with the belt itself. It is made from velvet. Then I made the painting and then I finished it with lace. What I still have to do for this night is put the "cameo"-thing on the belt. The beading will be for tomorrow: brown beads and copper ornaments. Normally it would be bronze, but I think copper suits better with the color of the old train. The train is painted after a photo I made some time ago.
Here are some WIP pictures. More will come tomorrow! (but I'm going to a hobby fair, so I won't have much time!)

Friday, March 1, 2013

Updates

Every handmade extraordinary outfit I see, I want to be more a fashion/accessory designer!
So I decided I want to make my first waistbelt with a handpainted 'cameo'. I want to do it this time withouth help of my mom (ofcourse she will have to guide me a bit, but I want to do it now without her sewing a thing!)
Here is the design so far. I made the pattern, and on the drawing you see what the result is going to be. Probably the beaded part will be like the right part of the belt, so on the edges. But that can still change. The picture is going to be a steamtrain. It's going to be handpainted with acrylics from a photo I made some time ago, If I still can find it back ofcourse! But I'll have to, messy me!



Next on the list are my new supplies I got in. So I want to make more jewelry. Though the problem is that I need soooo much time to overthink everything if it looks good or not.


This is also a necklace where I am doubting about the center piece, which one to take. The peacock is too oval, the green stone is too big. These things drive me a bit crazy (or was I already?) :P



It is possibly that I will be less active for some time on my page with new jewelry designs. This is because I want to become better at some things. I want to upgrade myself. I am also thinking about studying fashion or jewelry designer at syntra. Though I'm not sure which one to choose because I want to put the emphasis on accessories in general, so both jewelry and fabric related. Another problem is the costprize! 1750 euros is quite a lot for a year of jewelry designing (materials not included!). I also have to move to Antwerp then. For fashion design I can go closer to home: Alost or Brussels. But I heard Syntra Brussels for fashion design is better.
Anyone with experiences with Syntra (or other fashion/jewelry schools) may sent me their thoughts!

Next thing on the list: start working and ordering mooooore supplies, and first going after my package at the post office!

Love,
Natascha, The Black Cat